Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life turned unmanageable—a relentless since my second little one arrived—I seemed to the specialists. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I assumed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to know.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be bored with feeling like this, so I finished combating my very own nature. I finished taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been making an attempt to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who might observe a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I might handle my time the identical approach they did?
The shift was delicate however modified every little thing. I’m unstuck, now not languishing, transferring forward with objective. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m achieved chasing options that had been by no means meant to work for me.
Right this moment, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues achieved with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of after we work towards who we’re, burnout isn’t a chance. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A notice on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I stated I’d do—for myself, for others—in a approach that is sensible for my life. I spent two years making an attempt to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are energetic, and studying to revive that modified every little thing.
A notice on relaxation.
Totally different sorts of relaxation observe totally different sorts of productiveness. Figuring out what you want means understanding your limits. Attempting to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these indicators. ADHD brains want various kinds of relaxation—emotional, psychological, inventive, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and training Pilates. To outsiders, it would appear to be I’m at all times going, however this type of motion restores me. Typically, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different occasions, it’s a warning signal. Once I’m mentally drained, TV helps. Once I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified every little thing.
A notice on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our value by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making somewhat than measuring. When you’re within the thick of that, this submit might not be what you want at the moment.
Your value will not be your work. However making—creating, transferring, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. Once I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my circulate. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every little thing.
Once I began honoring my internal drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my circulate. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every little thing.
Dwelling with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for a great evening’s sleep and each day bodily motion. I don’t need to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that typically I don’t know if I want relaxation or momentum. The one solution to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can also be arduous to entry if you’re overstimulated.
My potential to entry my most “productive” self is restricted and never constant. Figuring out I’m not at all times going to make the correct alternative helps me discover some grace somewhat than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my lack of ability to get issues achieved imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I may give myself what I want. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Reaching optimum productiveness each day is unrealistic. Once I do yoga, my physique can really feel fully totally different from someday to the subsequent. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels tougher than it ought to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a approach by means of.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I realized three important ideas that assist me get issues achieved with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my each day life.
3 Ideas I Comply with for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I keep easy techniques for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing the entire above. The secret is that the processes are simple to repeat and every little thing is simple to entry—nothing is ever too sophisticated. That is paramount.
I exploit the Notes app and Reminders app on my telephone in addition to Notion to avoid wasting concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a completely digital particular person. The mind processes handwriting utterly in a different way than typing. Except for Notion, the apps on my telephone are VERY easy and straightforward to make use of.
I exploit the bucket system for digital recordsdata (and bodily objects in my house), one thing I first realized about from KC Davis, writer of The right way to Preserve Home Whereas Drowning. I exploit digital buckets to arrange recordsdata on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Initiatives, Content material Creation, Household, Our Residence, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Shoppers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply conversant in procrastination comprehend it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues achieved as soon as we really feel the stress of time. Nevertheless, I found that once I procrastinate and rush to get every little thing achieved shortly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to observe deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I must create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play through the timer I exploit (extra on this under).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy identified the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so tough for folks with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my each day momentum, I carried out a morning routine that’s pared all the way down to the fundamentals and prioritizes essentially the most difficult factor first. I stand up, brew espresso, and sit all the way down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me by means of the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes a whole lot of focus. I really feel wonderful and able to sort out something once I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my telephone. Listed here are the 4 I at all times have at my desk.
1. Keep on Observe Planner: This planner helps me plan the small print of every week.
2. Timer: That is for training the Pomodoro approach and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my telephone for a set period of time. Having a bodily instrument to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s occurring round me.
I additionally flip to a couple choose sources and folks for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday evening or Monday morning, I mind dump every little thing into my Keep on Observe Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I exploit the Eisenhower Matrix to kind what’s pressing, what can wait, what could be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve realized that pushing by means of this step makes every little thing else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I am going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphones, decide a process, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My telephone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I want uninterrupted time. It’s not good—children nonetheless stroll in—but it surely helps everybody be extra aware about what pressing really means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I must push by means of or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do record will show I “labored arduous sufficient,” I am going to mattress. If wrapping up one final process will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my lack of ability to get issues achieved imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I may give myself what I want. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I now not take ease without any consideration as a result of I understand how arduous easy issues could be. I used to attend for the proper circumstances to jot down—now I jot issues down in the course of a grocery retailer. I observe ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is at all times there.
When huge initiatives really feel overwhelming (hi there, writing a ebook), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means totally disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing arduous issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s lovely.
We don’t must boss-babe our approach again to hustle tradition, however possibly we swung too far within the different path. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make selections at the moment that honor what I care about most?
There’ll at all times be elements of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing by means of. And in doing so, we deliver what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is presently studying methods to play tennis and is ceaselessly testing the boundaries of her inventive muscle. Comply with her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
